How did I here, from there!

My life has been quite exciting. I have had many changes come my way. With each change or challenge I have learned something from it. To this day I strive to learn something new everyday.


I was born on the south side of Chicago. I lived there until I was nine. We then moved to a small town in Indiana. This was a big challenge for me since I knew nothing about farming and I was raised in the city. Believe me I did not fit in well! Although I did learn a lot of what I use in my life today. There is a lot to be said for growing up in the country.


Being that I did not fit in so well, I used it to my advantage. I got to know all the ladies in town. I knew how to talk to everyone. I learned how to cook, clean, babysit, you name it! I got involved with the Baptist church and befriended many great people who took me under their wings.


Work was also a big part of my new life. My first gig was hoeing mint, I was 10! Detasseling corn and cleaning schools were some other summer jobs I held. I also worked at the show house (as we called it) through the winter.


Dancing was also a big part of my life. I met Sherry, and for years we were best friends and partners. We had many fun hours together, she helped me in ways she will never know.


Freindships were something that I created and have lasted over time. Steve,Leon,Earl,Jon were a few of the folks who are still a part of my life.


During this time of my life there was a lot that happened that was not so great! What I want to tell you is that I learned from that to. I will not be going into the specifics! That is where I learned to say "never let them see you sweat".


At the age of 16 I learned I was going to be a father.Life was going real fast, I ended up leaving high school in my jr year.I felt very lost. Our parents allowed us to marry at the age of 16. Looking back on this, I am shocked that they did this.

Barb and I worked real hard to keep our heads above water and lived with my Mom and family for a few months. I took small jobs as a cook to make money, we also were on food stamps. Barb worked in the fields in the summer also.
We both worked hard and as I remember, we did not complain a lot.
The one thing we did do was "party "! We were young and on our own!
This of course could only last so long. We drifted apart, we were 18 after all.
We were on and off for a few years, while working at a factory together. This was more drama then you could ever imagine. For years to come we had a hard time truly letting go. Looking back I don't believe we knew how to, we were somewhat connected. To this day we still are.
We have Jennifer, and our grand-daughter Rowan.

I moved to Chicago to be with my grand parents. I could not pull things together,broke and broken. I needed to get away . To find me, to live for free, to get out of debt.
Due to my stint living with my grand parents, I met some interesting folks. I found the gay bars.
Life began. I could breathe, I found me. I found a good paying job, worked all the time and partied even more. I had to move out. I was never home. I found a place where I could be close to the bars and far enough for me not to run into folks from work. I was in the "closet".
I hid behind the fact I was married/divorced,and had a child.
Things did not go so well. I was drinking more and more. I forgot about rent,car payment and even child support.I had the money, just did not put it in the bank. I did not know how to do any of this. I just always got by.
This did not last long and I lost everything! So back to the couch for me. This time to my Moms.
The drinking got even worse, she was a bartender at the local tavern. That ment free beer for me. We got very close, I was back home, she had free beer and housing.
Through this whole time I was working crap jobs, sometimes 2 or 3 at a time. They only lasted a few months at a time so I'd take what I could. All having to do with cooking.
Then I met "him". This was 2 years of my life I'd like to not relive but it is important, because it ended when I did not think life was worth living. For 22 years I was unable to really celebrate Valentine's Day. Because in 1985 I thought I had enough. I had lost "her"and"him" I did not know how to live. I spent Valentine's Day at Porter Memorial in and out of a coma. Taking enough pills to kill an elephant. ( For the past 3 years I celebrate Valentine's Day) I let it all go.
Getting through all that and living, I realized. I need to move! I need to get away from all this. I knew I would die if I stayed. So I did what I knew. I moved to California with a drug dealer and female impersonator I met in a bar! If we would have been pulled over on out trip, they would have been very confused. Don't ask!!! This was a fun trip. My new life was ahead of me.
California here I come!!!!

To be continued......